Jingzhou Trip
About 3 weeks ago our family went to Jingzhou. That was a great trip. The Christians there took care of us. We were given a place to stay and folks provided at least 2 meals a day for us. Our biggest expense was just paying for the trip there and back. Because of the length of the trip and the amount of things we did there, I'm going to make a separate section on the website to tell about the wonderful things happening there. I'll let you know once I've updated that new part of this site. It's going to take a few weeks. In that section, I'll detail all of the lessons we did and mention some of our friends that we got to see again. Hopefully by that time I'll have access to some of the pictures we took there. I'm really having technical difficulties when it comes to getting pictures. I'm very sorry about that. Please be patient with me as I attempt to fix these issues.
When we came back from Jingzhou I got pretty sick. Eventually I passed that on to Cyprus and then to Colonel. It took me about 2 weeks to overcome that, but I'm finally getting better. I lost my voice for a bit. It was some kind of weird sore throat, congestion kind of bug. It's almost gone now though. The good part of being sick is that I got to try out some of my homemade herbal remedies to see if they worked. Most of the folks in the house enjoyed them. I know they worked for my respiratory problems. I'm very thankful for that.
Holiday Blues
Since we've been back, the campus has been pretty empty. The majority of people have left and the shops are shutting down since the students are all gone.
We did have one bit of sad news. The following post is about 2 weeks old. I couldn't update the blog at the time to put it on here, but I'm adding it now. Just pretend like you're reading it two weeks ago...
Last night Colonel went out to get us some Chinese style fast food. While he was standing outside waiting for the food to cook, he was approached by the manager of the hotel near our favorite fast food restaurant. The manager was very distraught. He pointed to a dark stain on the ground and told Colonel, "That's blood." The manager went on to explain that he was up late the day before working in the hotel. While he was working, he heard a loud sound outside. When he came outside, there was the body of a young girl on the ground. Later, he learned that the girl was a student at our university. She was staying on the fifth floor of the hotel. She jumped and committed suicide. Now, the university has to pay the parents money in exchange for the girl's life, and the hotel manager will be expected to give some money (though it's not require by law for him to do so). It's a bad situation.
As of right now, I don't know who this student it. I haven't seen any news stories about it. Possibly, when the students return from their holiday vacation, there may be some rumors about it. Most likely, it will be silently covered up. It's a terrible time of year for suicide - not that there's any good time for it. The campus is practically empty because all the students have left for the holiday. Everyone should be traveling home to see their family members. It's the one time of year when the majority of Chinese families reunite. Most of my students only get to see their parents during this holiday. The family of this young girl will have quite an unhappy memory associated with this holiday.
It's really quite sad. After all the work we've been doing at this school to reach people, I still can't help but feel that we've fallen short in some way. Perhaps we knew this girl. Perhaps we talked with her once or twice at English corner. Maybe she was one of our students. Or maybe we never met her at all. Whatever the case, I feel that we should have made an impact in her life in some way. It's ridiculous to think this way. There are thousands of students on this campus. Colonel and I together probably only come into contact with 500-700 students in one academic year. That's not even 1/4 of all the students who attend here. Yet, in my heart, I feel that we somehow missed this girl.
The truth is, this is just one example of the many students who slip by us unnoticed. We're only a family of 4 people on a campus of thousands. We can't reach everyone. We can't meet everyone. Half the time, we don't even know if the people we're dealing with on a daily basis are students or not. We just can't reach everyone here. In some ways, this event just solidifies my feelings that we're not being effective enough here. If we had more people, if we had a better grasp of the language and culture, if we could get closer to the students...so many if's. In the end, it just isn't enough.
For the past year, I've been wrestling with the idea that we're not making a big enough impact here. I let people at home tell me that just teaching one person is enough. I let myself believe it. The honest truth is that it's not enough. No matter what we can do, it's just not enough. As long as people are dying without knowing the Lord, as long as they are taking their lives for whatever reason, our efforts here are not enough. I just can't help thinking that if this girl knew Jesus, she wouldn't feel the feelings that made her want to take her life in this way. Unfortunately, our family just can't reach every student here. This is one reason why we've been practically begging people to come here and work for the Lord. It makes me sad that we have to beg. People should be jumping at the opportunity to serve, but instead they run from it. And because people are playing around in this way, folks are dying without knowing the Lord. It's a shame.
Deaths in the Family
Yes another friend has died. A few months ago I mentioned about our friend R.S. who died. Now, his wife, S.S. has died. It's a very sad thing for that whole family and for all the folks who knew this couple. Our prayers and condolences go out to that family. Please know that we love you and hope that you find some comfort during this very difficult time.
New Year
It's very sad to start out the new year with news about death and sadness. Unfortunately, this year isn't starting out so great. However, I know that it will get better. Bad things happen some times, but I know that joy comes in the morning.
I've truly enjoyed the time off from work. The holiday has been much needed. As I think about the holiday coming to an end, I'm filled with anxiety. It's getting to where I dread having to teach. This is not a good thing. It is definitely a sign that it may be time to move on.
Future Prospects
Colonel and I have been looking for a better situation for our family. We've been here for several years and though it's not the worst situation, it's pretty bad health wise. Living near to a coal plant is not the best breathing environment. We're constantly coughing and getting respiratory illnesses.
On top of that, the food in this city is just really bad. Even the fresh vegetables you buy in the store are pretty bad. Often times they're selling moldy food. I've learned that in this city the workers pick out the very good vegetables and wrap them in plastic, then charge three times as much for them. Those vegetables get sold pretty quickly. What's left is what no one really wants to eat. It's unfortunate.
In spite of those issues, we've been trying to stick it out. This last year (and this current new year) have shown us yet another reason why it's unhealthy to stay here. Here we are in the middle of winter and roughly every week to twice a week our power goes out. It's the coldest time of year and it's not good to go for 6-8 hours with no electricity. Especially when we're all already sick. Add to that the fact that we can't cook and the restaurants on the main street are closed down because the students are gone, and we're left with little opportunity to find food. For the past 2 weeks I've been living off of yogurt, strawberries, and tangerines. Needless to say, I really look forward to opportunities to eat hot food.
In China, you get a chill in your body that goes right down to your bones. You feel it settling in very deep inside and it takes quite a while to warm up again. It's different from any cold that I felt in America. The wind, on top of the cold, gets up into your clothes and sort of cuts right through you. Once you get this coldness inside, it's very difficult to get rid of it. Wearing more clothes doesn't help. Usually, I have to drink lots of hot water and eat lots of hot things to make it go away. It would definitely help if our power stayed on.
At any rate, there's so many reasons why this particular city is very unhealthy for us, not just physically, but also mentally and emotionally. It's hard to weigh these 3 things against any spiritual responsibilities we may have. Do you sacrifice health for your spiritual duties? Can you do your spiritual duties if you're not healthy? These are things that we think about each day. I also worry that our current situation may push our kids away from serving God. They are both at the age where they're considering becoming Christians. I wonder what affect our choices will have on their decision. Only time will tell at this point. I definitely don't want them to feel that serving God means they have to be unhappy, unhealthy, uncomfortable, and lonely. These are the feelings we're dealing with right now. So, please pray for our family as we consider these issues and wrestle with our work for the Lord. We don't know where we are to go or what we are to do, but we definitely feel it's time to leave this place. Pray that God will direct us to the place he desires us to be, even if it means that we do stay in this city. We've also been asking God for other workers. If he does want us to stay here, then we're asking that he send other folks to help us. We're not making a dent here working alone. We need help.